"Such a cold December"
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Roughly six months ago a friend and co-worker, Jim, unexpectedly committed suicide. Initially when I found out what had happened, I chuckled and bit. You may be wondering, "Why did he chuckle?" If any of you have been in the same situation, you know there are times when the only thing you can do out of complete and utter shock is to laugh. Not a full on laugh but a laugh of "I cannot believe this happened. God help me through this. Let me be dreaming"
Moments later, I found myself in my work bathroom pleading to God to help and comfort me. I paced back and forth in the bathroom for over an hour trying to compose myself as tears continued streaming down my face. That day, I must have looked through Jim's Facebook profile pictures at least thirty times. I just stared at his pictures not wanting to forget what he looked like, hoping he would never leave my memory.
Today, I did the same. I stared at Jim's pictures on my phone and cried a bit. You see, some times people who have attempted or contemplated suicide think that eventually they will be forgotten- that their loved ones will continue their daily lives without hurt or pain. That is partially true. We do continue to live our lives. We work. We pay bills. We take care or kids. We go out to eat. We sleep. Even though we continue to live our lives, that does not mean we cannot still feel the pain, hurt, and grief that comes from losing a loved one. To that end, I want everyone who has contemplated suicide or is considering it to know that you are wanted. You are so important. You are loved. You do matter! I know that above all, God wants you to be happy. We all go through trials that seem weigh us down more than we think we can bare; however, with the help of those that love us and our Savior, Jesus Christ, we can overcome anything. I know that is true. I know Christ ALWAYS has His arms extended to you. His invitation to follow Him is always there. Matthew 11:28-30 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." |
